Tiffany Griffin

A Waterways Project
Publication
Richard Spiegel
Barbara Fisher
codirectors
Thomas Perry
administrative assistant

Ofelia Rodriguez Goldstein
Teacher

P911, Center for Continuing Education
Pregnant and Parenting Student Services
Maria Torchia, Principal
Danette Queen, Assistant Principal

Richard Organisciak, Superintendent
Alternative, Adult and Continuing Education,
Schools and Programs

Funding support from
New York State Council on the Arts

Love me
Because you want,
Not because you have to,
Because you feel it is wonderful
With me.

When night comes
Night scares scary
Scares people silly
People enjoy living
Enjoy seasons changing
Seasons beautifully grow
Beautifully appear clearly
Appear clear moons
Clear to eyes
To the beginning
The colors glare
Colors bring meaning
Bring ideas too
Ideas that hurt
That one wishes
One never felt
Never say again
Say only truth
Only lies hurt
Lies bring pain

I want to be the sunrise
So you will have to look my way
I want to feel the love
You’ve kept away from me
I want to love you
But how can I love someone I rarely see
I want to be your brain
So I know what you think
I want to share my feelings
So that you know just how I feel
I want to show
That loving me won’t hurt you all that much
I want to be honest
So you understand me
I want to help you
Because I know you hurt
I want to share with you
All the happiness the future brings my way

In my ideal world
Love is not something you’d have to ask for
And hate would never be passed around.
Life would be meaningful and lovely.
Truth would come naturally and lies would rarely exist.
Desires need not to be desired
For they are things just inches away.
Green-eyed monsters would never surface.
Autumn leaves would fight the dread of nakedness.
The smooth warm sun would never fall victim to the ridged blue moon;
And being perfect wouldn’t be so ideal
In my world.

On the outside I’m shiny, fresh and new
But on the inside I’m filled with confused parts and wires.
I’ve lost control.
It is in someone else's hand.
I sit back waiting to be turned on.
People watch through me.
They see many things, but I never see them.
For I've lost control of the remote.
But, how can I have control
When I’m just an idle fixture?
There are so many things to see in life,
And so many decisions to make.

My mother always says, “Never say, 'I can’t.'"
Because, if I say I can’t, then I’ll never achieve.
And, if I never achieve, I won’t be able to stand on my own.
And, if I can’t stand on my own, I will never be independent.
And, if I never become independent, I will never grow as a person.
And, if I never grow as a person,
I will not be able to make a life for my baby.
And, if I can’t make a life for my baby, then I’m not responsible.
And, if I’m not being responsible, then I’ll never find my place in life.
If I never find my place in life, then
I’ll never be able to achieve my dreams.
I think it is time to start listening to my mother.

I know I’m young,
But it is my time.
Nobody ever asks for life to pass.
Please don’t cry.
Many things are left unsaid.
Many things left undone.
I wish I could have hugged you all and said my last good-byes.
I would have liked to tell you all about my love.
But do not worry, because hurt isn’t mine anymore.
You maybe mad.
You might be sad.
But, look at me,
Don’t I look nice?
So many things I wish I could have changed,
Like all the pain and sadness, the regrets.
But, now is too late,
God is calling me home.

I have a friend called Anger,
Who burns me up with strange sensations.
I scream. I curse. I yell. Ha!
But nothing helps.
I still feel the feelings I least want to feel.
She comes to visit when things are upside down.
You would think I’d send her away.
But, Ha! No, not me, not at all.
I feed her off my problems.
She laughs at me because I am her fool.
Sometimes I get mad at her
For letting her come in and toss my life up in a spell.
But, then I stop and think,
Anger is only a different friend.

I used to be your pride and joy,
But you changed that since your new pride came along.
We used to be worry free,
Now we can’t even face each other.
I always thought we were as one, until he took our love.
I felt alone until August 2,
When a new pride and joy came to both of us.
Now I have a new friend, your baby!
Maybe he will break the ice between us.
I think we can become friends again,
Just the three of us.

Just in case,
You leave without saying good-bye,
I want you to know you are appreciated.
When you were here, even more as you leave,
I sit back and say, "Damn,
Why didn’t I cherish you more?
How could I have been so naïve?"
For to lose something dear unexpectedly
Is to have to say good-bye forever.

Just in case I have to go,
I wouldn’t want to accept your absence.
But life is what it has to be,
I only pray I’ll be forgiven.

How dare you call yourself, "family".
You walk around claiming to be saved by God.
Those who love God live with clear thoughts,
Not with fire in their eyes,
Not with hatred in their hearts.
You act as if you’re better than me;
Quick to judge, quick to nag,
Quick to be everything you’re not.
You’re a green person with specks of red.
Jealously is the thing you most adore.
You talk as if you’re so wise ,
But only the wise know that hate comes last.
Sneaking around is your style.
Killing souls is what you live for.
How dare you even call yourself "human"?
Humans are clear and transparent.
You stopped being true and free spirited.
Yes, you, my friend.
You are as dark as a stormy night.
Because of you, I’ve turned this way;
Ready to hate at a moment's request.
But, I’m ready to learn.
15 years is too long to hate.
It’s you who will have to learn
Hate isn’t in style anymore.

Dan’s dignity drowns down
Defending Dan’s determination
Death decides delicately
Drivers drive deeper.
Dan's dignity dribbled down
Dangling devilish demands
Deliver dibble dabble
Decided Dan doing the double
Dirty Dons do die differently
But damned Dan dies dearly

Poor thing,
You’re just trying to survive.
Used for others’ needs and desires;
Being pulled from here to there;
But, when laid back down, you shrink back into yourself.
If only you had words to express tiredness and frailty.
How dare they mistake kindness for weakness?
You need to learn how to say NO before it’s too late;
Before they run away from your vocabulary.
Being used wastes the soul.
It leads to stretching of self, losing self-esteem,
and breaks one's self-image.
When will you learn
That you’re not helping?
You’re just their ladder,
A mere stepping stone for what they want.

My special day wasn’t that special,
But it will never be forgotten.
The ninth of January came to leave devastation behind.
My grandfather had always been my light;
The only constant male presence in my life.
But, with age comes sickness,
A sickness known as cancer.
Three years of knowledge, he had kept secret,
A shock to the family,
To be dealt with when we learned of his frailty.
As he lay in the hospital, filled with malignancy,
I lay in my house, scared to see
What he was becoming.
The weeks brought much pain,
Much suffering before he died.
And with him went I.
He was my inspiration, my laughter, my everything.
And, on his last days, I couldn’t bare to tell him.
Scared to see death in his eyes,
Scared to see a strong man conquered by weakness.
Why couldn’t I accept him as he was
Instead of being scared of his form?
Guilt didn’t escape me,
Though love was always present.
But, he shall always be my inspiration,
The ninth of January will never be forgotten.

Love lives for an eternity.
Overwhelming feelings
Overpower the soul, speechless,
Vaguely remembering
Why or when it happens,
But only that it does,
And should never go away.
Love is everything or anything
A person can ask for,
Or will ever need.

In Search of a Song